Don't Embarass Me Mum

I think you’d better not go Mum
You’ll just make a fool out of me
You’re better of back at home Mum
Eating biscuits and drinking tea

There’s no way you’re wearing that skirt Mum
It’s a rock concert for goodness sake
We’re not in the eight hundreds Mum
Put on something more up to date

Don’t shake your hips like that Mum
It’s a gig not a school dance
And please don’t mess around Mum
You don’t stand a chance

Now take off that make-up Mum
You look like a panda with a black eye
No Neil Diamond won’t be singing
For the millionth time

Don’t talk all posh and snooty Mum
I’d rather you kept quiet anyway
You can speak in slang if you have to talk
And keep out of my way

Don’t embarrass me in front of my friends Mum
I know you miss being at school
Don’t laugh while I talk and definitely don’t snort
And no that jumpers not cool

It’s a really, really long way Mum
Are you sure don’t need the loo
You said you’re no good with long journeys Mum
I don’t blame you you're eighty two!