The Ugly Duckling

You don’t notice the damage you do

You might as well be slicing at my skin

Calling me fat, calling me lazy

Destroying me from within

None of you noticed

When I was crying inside

None of you noticed

When I was trying to hide

I was never good enough

Never met your expectations

I didn’t cook the right food

Or socialise with your relations

I’m the ugly duckling

The elephant in the room

I’ve always been a failure

Since I was sleeping in your womb

I snapped and I saw red

I did something bad

But you won’t take the blame

For the constant draining nags

Maybe you should have thought

About becoming a mum

I’m not gonna lie, I’m being honest

You’re not the greatest one

I love you of course

That goes without saying

But I don’t think I like you

And the flaws you are displaying

It’s too late to show

Love and dignity

It’s too late to fix

The parts you broke of me.

You’ve Set Me Free

You never were there

Like you said you’d always be

You walked over my heart

And flattened my dignity.

You never heard me cry

You just watched the tears fall down

Pretending that you cared

Staging a worried frown.

You failed as a parent

You hurt me every day

Encouraging my demons

To come out and play.

You ruined my childhood

Filling it with tears

But I want you to know

That I’ve conquered my fears

I can live without you

Just wait and see

You’ll soon realise

You’ve set me free.

Parents

Why are parents

Such let downs?

If you’ve got a smile

They’ll give you a frown

They fill you with the traits

You wish you didn’t own

If you’re having a good day

They’ll start to nag or moan

They aren’t there when you need them

But they’re there when you wish they weren’t

They wipe your mind of happiness

And erase the good you’ve learnt

They like to fuck you up

And mess your head around

If you’re flying in the sky

They’ll kick you to the ground

They live their life through you

And don’t accept their time is gone

They look back at their masterpiece

And question where it all went wrong.

(Inspired by Philip Larkin's This Be The Verse

Let Down

You let me down

You let me cry

Always disappointment

And a million goodbyes

You cut me off

For days at a time

You didn’t pick up

Or answer the line

You’d threaten me

With your selfish ways

Never held me tight

And said it’d be OK

I just wanted a daddy

Like the other girls had

One who’d read them stories

And hug them if they were sad

You let me down

A thousand times

Turned out the light

So the sun didn’t shine

You fucked me up

And now it’s too late

I’ve waved goodbye

I’ve cleared my plate.

Some People

Some people are fucked up

And full of shit and dirt

Some people cut themselves

To feel their inside hurt

Some people drink and smoke

To make it go away

Some people try to hide

The bleakness of their day

Some people have sex

With everyone in sight

As they try to feel something

And not give up their fight

Some people fall in love

And learn how to smile

Some people chase their demons

Forever and a mile

Some people are so crazy

They start to appear sane

Some people hide the bruises

With concealer and shame

Some people die young

Because they don’t know how to live

Some people turn off their hearts

Because they don’t know how to give

Most people are fucked up

In their own special way

Don’t judge another person

Until you've lived as them for a day.

Remember

Remember he's not gone

Remember he's still here

When you fake a smile

When you brush away a tear

Remember the good times

Let them fill you up with joy

It's easier said than done

When your heart's broken like a toy

Remember he's around

In the heat of the sun

Smiling down at you all

He's the energy in a run

He's on the track, cheering

He's by your side at night

He's with you every moment

So don't give up this fight.

The Fight

It’s gonna be hard

I always knew it would

It’s gonna be tough

I won’t feel very good.

But after a while

The panic will disappear

The worry will shift

They’ll be no more fear.

It’ll be worth it in the end

I’ll look back and smile

When I know that I’ve tackled

The biggest thing for a while.

I won’t give up this fight

I’ll be the winner in this race

Don’t expect me to crumble

Watch this smile on my face.