Parents

Why are parents

Such let downs?

If you’ve got a smile

They’ll give you a frown

They fill you with the traits

You wish you didn’t own

If you’re having a good day

They’ll start to nag or moan

They aren’t there when you need them

But they’re there when you wish they weren’t

They wipe your mind of happiness

And erase the good you’ve learnt

They like to fuck you up

And mess your head around

If you’re flying in the sky

They’ll kick you to the ground

They live their life through you

And don’t accept their time is gone

They look back at their masterpiece

And question where it all went wrong.

(Inspired by Philip Larkin's This Be The Verse

Let Down

You let me down

You let me cry

Always disappointment

And a million goodbyes

You cut me off

For days at a time

You didn’t pick up

Or answer the line

You’d threaten me

With your selfish ways

Never held me tight

And said it’d be OK

I just wanted a daddy

Like the other girls had

One who’d read them stories

And hug them if they were sad

You let me down

A thousand times

Turned out the light

So the sun didn’t shine

You fucked me up

And now it’s too late

I’ve waved goodbye

I’ve cleared my plate.

Some People

Some people are fucked up

And full of shit and dirt

Some people cut themselves

To feel their inside hurt

Some people drink and smoke

To make it go away

Some people try to hide

The bleakness of their day

Some people have sex

With everyone in sight

As they try to feel something

And not give up their fight

Some people fall in love

And learn how to smile

Some people chase their demons

Forever and a mile

Some people are so crazy

They start to appear sane

Some people hide the bruises

With concealer and shame

Some people die young

Because they don’t know how to live

Some people turn off their hearts

Because they don’t know how to give

Most people are fucked up

In their own special way

Don’t judge another person

Until you've lived as them for a day.

Remember

Remember he's not gone

Remember he's still here

When you fake a smile

When you brush away a tear

Remember the good times

Let them fill you up with joy

It's easier said than done

When your heart's broken like a toy

Remember he's around

In the heat of the sun

Smiling down at you all

He's the energy in a run

He's on the track, cheering

He's by your side at night

He's with you every moment

So don't give up this fight.

The Fight

It’s gonna be hard

I always knew it would

It’s gonna be tough

I won’t feel very good.

But after a while

The panic will disappear

The worry will shift

They’ll be no more fear.

It’ll be worth it in the end

I’ll look back and smile

When I know that I’ve tackled

The biggest thing for a while.

I won’t give up this fight

I’ll be the winner in this race

Don’t expect me to crumble

Watch this smile on my face.

A Message To My Diary

You started off my friend

Held out your hand

Offered me a shoulder to cry on

And ears to listen with

You became destructive

You took over my life

And had me by the throat

I had no control any more

You deceived me

You tricked me

Confused my tired mind

And drained me of strength

I’m claiming you back

Gaining control once again

You’re no longer my enemy

And you never were my friend.

Screwed Up At Seventeen

Well you managed to screw up

The best part of a year

Wrapped yourself in misery

Self-obsession, hate and fear

Turned people against you

Caused embarrassment and shame

I won’t make those mistakes

Ever, ever again

Plastering your life over YouTube

Facebook and your blog

Thinking people cared

Saw through the damaged fog

I cringe when I look back

At how I acted last year

The ways I showed my pain

Instead of shedding a tear

I put myself away

In the asylum for the loons

I lost my mind, lost my pride

Far too young, way too soon

I’m paying for the damage

Clearing up the mess

I’m done with telling stories

No more need to confess

Don’t judge me on my past

I’m not that person any more

Accept me as I am

With all my quirks and flaws.