Then To Now

I look back at photographs
Where my tears were locked
In my pain stained eyes
It's like I was someone else
A devil in disguise
I used to dream of death
And cut my arms to shreds
Now I smile at my life
As I'm lying in my bed
Things worked out
Happy endings are true
Life is good, hope is real
And I really love you.

The New Me

She's confident
She loves life
She cares
She smiles
She's independent
She's lovable
She's carefree
Her scars show
But they tell a story
Of worse times
When life was bad
The new me
Is still the old me
Just better
I won't forget the old me
She'll never leave my side
Just now I've found
What I used to hide.

Bullying

It started off small
It's grown quite tall
Torn me apart
Made a hole in my heart
The words they sting
They cut me in two
What have I ever done to you?
I don't deserve this
Don't need this pain
But I'm still broken
In guilt and shame
You made we feel worthless
You wiped away my smile
You wasted my life
I've been down for a while
I've got no scars
No cuts I can show
But the misery inside
Will just grow and grow
I've hit rock bottom
There's no way up
So I say goodbye
As I cradle this cup
I count the pills
One, two and three
My mind goes fuzzy
You've killed me.

My Generation

Pizza, coke, chips and beans

That’s all kids want just more and more treats

Lie in all day, stay up all night

Get arrested, start a fight

Bunk of school, write on walls

Don’t bother with homework, act like fools

Lie on a couch, swear and grouch

Kick in a bin, commit a sin

Shout and curse, make the world worse

Abuse and bully, act real silly

Wreck yourself, take a pill

Pollute and shoot, scream and hoot

Punch, kick, slap and hit

Act like you’re well fit

That’s what we’re like it’s we do

You may not like it but tough luck to you.

Some of us kids don’t like it too.

Were not like that, it’s not what we do.

So before you say that us kids suck,

It’s not my fault I was born in this generation!

My Brother Jonny

M y brother just like no other
Y oung, skinny and as loud as my mother  

B rings the family a cheerful smile
R otten and scary, makes me run a mile
O ver the moon about football
T ries out tricks and thinks he's cool
H urts my feelings reguarly
E veryone thinks he acts old but I think he acts three
R uns around like mad, is real bad

J oker of the family, comedian of the house
O pposite to me, I'm quiet as a mouse
N aughty quite a lot, pretends to get me shot
N ever closes the toilet lid
Y et I wouldn't swap my brother, whatever he did!

Remember

Remember he's not gone

Remember he's still here

When you fake a smile

When you brush away a tear

Remember the good times

Let them fill you up with joy

It's easier said than done

When your heart's broken like a toy

Remember he's around

In the heat of the sun

Smiling down at you all

He's the energy in a run

He's on the track, cheering

He's by your side at night

He's with you every moment

So don't give up this fight.

The Urge

To feel the blood
To seek the pain
Scratch and cut
The scars remain
Slice a knife
On your skin
Release it all
The pain within
My arms are maps
Of my life's road
Diaries of
The mental throes
Let me cut
Let me burn
My sadness weep
It's my turn.